On the ice I immediately knew I should have cancelled. I curled over, and my coach came on and it was time to start.
First up was 3-turns. It felt like my body was disconnected. I cannot even describe what I was feeling. But it was making me mentally frustrated. I wanted to punch out the boards and kick them. I wanted to cry. The ice was also shit and I kept tripping in holes. Literally I would have looked like a psycho but punching the wall would have felt good but I held off.
From there after holding off, we went to spins. I felt almost normal but my lower and upper body felt disconnected. I felt disoriented and weak. I know there is a possibility I will have a NEW diagnosis soon....but every difficult session is getting me one step closer to realizing this diagnosis is bound to happen. I don't want to say anything yet BUT after this session and the one on Thursday I feel like I have 0 confidence left.
As well I did a few jumps but the pain made me want to fall over. The 45 mins could not end fast enough. I cannot wait for a good day so I can get on and boost my confidence.